While the INFJ can and does invest in relationships in external ways such as in the practical and material, the INFJs attention is much more attuned and invested in the internal. Above all else, a shared connection of the internal world is the greatest gift an INFJ offers in a relationship.

The main approach to creating this connection is through cultivating harmony with their partner, as the INFJ believes that it will lead to deep connection and fulfilment for the couple. Unfortunately, this core value can be a liability for INFJs if the other person doesn’t share or recognise this value.

The INFJ needs to create a space that allows the Ni self to take shape, to shape the INFJ, to shape the world. Like the many paradoxes that make up the INFJ, this space is also paradoxical. This space is in the world but not of the world.

The INFJs most natural state is when they are consciously unconscious: having one foot in the conscious moment and the other in the unconscious continuum. The unsettledness others may feel is likely connected to the unfamiliar feeling felt in the presence of someone who is operating seamlessly in two realms of consciousness. The INFJ can stand in this gap effortlessly; in fact it is where they belong. INFJs occupy these two spaces as one complete space - where the temporal meets the supertemporal.

INFJs rarely tell you what they need.

Not because they don’t know, but because what they carry is often difficult to translate. Much of their inner world exists beneath language, beneath immediacy, beneath what can be easily pointed to or proven.

INFJs don’t stop being INFJs when they grow up.

Many of the patterns that shape an INFJ adult, like their sensitivity, depth, intuition, and inner complexity, were already present in childhood. They were simply less articulated, less protected, and often less understood.

Ni can function in two distinct ways; I call them Top-heavy and Bottom-heavy Ni. While both could be said to live in the unconscious or at the very least mirror the unconscious, Top-heavy (TH) Ni is consciously experienced by the INFJ, while bottom-heavy (BH) Ni acts like a quiet yet powerful guider or influencer. Let’s start with TH Ni.

INFJs process the script of life very differently. A lot of it is unconscious narrative and almost beyond the reach of the INFJ themselves. On the outside they can look like everybody else, however existential eternal type questions are being digested all the time. These questions require the deep in order to process. However the processing in some ways is just out of reach for the INFJ, who keeps one Ni on it at all times.

INFJ’s dominant function Ni often goes unnoticed growing up. This is partly due to being introverted, however it has a lot to do with being misunderstood, missed, and therefore rejected. The outer rejection of Ni by others, can lead to an inner rejection of Ni in the self.

In this video a share my own perspective on the topic of religious spirits. I hopefully remove a lot of the heaviness that is often associated with this topic, providing hopefully an insightful and down to earth angle perspective.

We are encouraged to eat from the Tree of Life, rather than from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Essentially, we are invited to choose life over death. This shouldn’t be a difficult choice, but it most definitely is. Why?

In this video I talk about the spiritual aspect of the Christian (Jesus) journey, exploring how to address issues of the heart in order to live wholeheartedly from the inside out.

Let's have a look at the final preference of Perceiving and Judging. To understand this preference from a MBTI® point of view, it is all about how you engage the outer world.

Seeking acceptance from people and or things is part of our human nature. This acceptance creates a sense of freedom, due to the feeling of security that it offers. The problem however is that relying on people or things for acceptance promotes all sorts of subtle and overt manipulation and control, creating insecurity and no real freedom at all.

This week we are looking at the Thinking / Feeling preference. To understand this preference from a MBTI® point of view, it is important to highlight that it is one of the mental processes. This one being a Judging process because it is all about how you come to make decisions. Keep in mind that there are no wrong or right preferences.

A lot of our churches are run to accommodate an extroverted audience, especially in the Pentecostal sector. While there is nothing wrong with demonstrating ones faith and belief in an external way, perhaps the apparent leaning towards the extroverted service could have some unhelpful side effects.

Let's have a look at the Sensing / Intuition preference. To understand this preference from a MBTI® point of view, it is important to highlight that it is one of the mental processes. This one being a Perceiving process because it is all about how you take in information from the outer world; the other mental process Thinking / Feeling is a Judging process (more one that in the next article). Keep in mind that there are no wrong or right preferences.

Did you ever find yourself over-reacting to something and then asking yourself, "Where did that come from?" Counsellor Scott Morgan says that often these over-reactions stem from childhood issues that we have never been dealt with like bullying or rejection. He shares how we can heal the 'hurting child inside'.

In this video I talk about sensitivity, where it can come from, how it can be damaged in childhood and by culture, and I discuss ways to manage and ultimately embrace sensitivity.

In these 4 articles we will be highlighting the differences between the four dichotomies or preferences of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, in order for you to discover your MBTI  personality type. The dichotomies are Introversion or Extroversion, Sensing or Intuition, Thinking or Feeling, and Perceiving or Judging. 

For the past week or so, I have wanted to write a blog exploring how to stay in the Vine of Jesus; the place where peace and rest resides. Whenever I attempted to begin, I felt discontent, that the effort would not bring satisfaction. A part of me wanted to write it, yet another did not. Something was not quite right.

Due to the Cross, Jesus's focus in any relationship is acceptance first, and change (by and through the Holy Spirit) second. Unfortunately, we often approach it the other way around, feeling we need to change first in order to be accepted by Him.